The Shore Page 18

  Several moments passed and neither of them said anything.

  “Thanks,” she said after a while.

  “What for?” he asked.

  “Sometimes just sitting quietly is the best thing.”

  “Oh yeah, I knew that,” he said, and winked.

  She smiled and seemed to relax more. He didn’t know whether she even was thinking of him as anything more than a friend at that moment. He did know that he was going to keep his arm around her as long as she would let him.

  From the other side of the pier came a deep boom! Suddenly the sky overhead was filled with light. The initial burst was a cascade of red, white, and blue. More followed, lighting up the night, some with a high-pitched shriek, others fluttering toward the ground like butterflies, and all accompanied by loud booms. Lucas suddenly realized that Polly and Fred hadn’t returned.

  “Isn’t it beautiful?” Avery breathed, looking upward.

  “Sure is,” Lucas said while staring at her.

  Slowly she turned her head and her eyes met his. Lucas felt a wave of emotion rise up inside him. “I’m really sorry I yelled at you. It’s just that, you know, I got scared when I thought you might drown.”

  “Was that why you were so angry?” she asked softly.

  He nodded. And with the sky alight above them, he took her face in his hands and kissed her.

  After five minutes at the club, Sabrina was glad April had convinced her to come. The band, Gear Shift, was really good and she found herself moving happily to the music. The dance floor was packed and the crowd around the bar was four deep. Half the people in the place were doing Jell-O shots. She wrinkled her nose. That was so high school.

  “He’s over there,” April said, pointing to Owen.

  “I wasn’t looking for him,” Sabrina lied, but once her eyes found Owen, they didn’t stray. She knew her feelings about him had changed. It had started when he’d insisted on apologizing for what had happened with the boys. Too many other guys would have tried to come up with excuses, no matter how lame. But Owen had acted like a man, admitting it was his fault and not trying to excuse himself in any way.

  And then, when she’d gone to him and admitted she was the one who’d stolen the money, he’d been sincerely forgiving. She hadn’t been nearly as forgiving about the boys, and she knew Owen could have laid into her if he’d wanted. But he’d resisted in a way that only someone who really cared about her would do.

  But still, there was the heavy drinking. She couldn’t abide by that. It was the last big barrier between them. She wanted to see if he’d keep his word and not drink again. More to the point, she was hoping he would.

  One of Owen’s friends handed him a Jell-O shot. Before he could down it, though, he turned and caught Sabrina staring at him. She could feel the embarrassment at being caught creep through her, and yet, she returned his gaze for a long moment, almost daring him in her thoughts to put down the Jell-O shot.

  April nudged her and whispered in her ear: “He wants you to go over there and tell him not to.”

  “No,” Sabrina replied. “He’s a big boy. He should be able to make his own decisions. If he really wants to quit drinking, he’ll quit whether I want him to or not.”

  “Maybe he just needs someone to help him, someone to be on his side.”

  “And what would happen if I wasn’t there?” Sabrina asked. “I can’t be with him every time he walks into a bar.”

  “Maybe not physically, but he’d know you were somewhere thinking about him.” April put her hand on Sabrina’s shoulder. “Do it. Go to him. I know you care, even if you won’t admit it to yourself. Now get your skinny butt over there and help him do the right thing.”

  “My butt is not skinny,” Sabrina said.

  “Who are you kidding?” April laughed. “You’re going even if I have to kick you over there. Don’t think I can’t.”

  Sabrina knew April was only telling her to do what she herself really wanted to do. “Oh, fine.”

  She walked over to Owen, the shot still in his hand. Finally she was standing in front of him. “Hi,” he said.

  “Hi.”

  “So, uh, how can I help you?” he asked. His words may have been slightly mocking, but his eyes were pleading. She knew he wanted something from her.

  “April told me to come over,” she said coolly.

  “April told you, huh? So it’s not like you actually care whether I drink or not?”

  “Do whatever you want,” she heard herself say, but she was thinking, I wish he wouldn’t drink. I think I could really care for him, but he has to prove he can deal with his problem.

  He started to lift the cup.

  But how will I know what he would choose if I don’t let him know there is a choice? she wondered. She watched the cup as he raised it toward his lips, but before it could touch them, she grabbed his arm, overcome by the emotion she was feeling. “I’m not saying I care.” She could feel tears well up in her eyes.

  “Then what are you saying?”

  “I’m saying maybe you shouldn’t do this.”

  He wavered, and even she wasn’t sure that she had said enough. There had to be something she could say, something she could do to let him know. “Come on,” she urged. “Let’s get out of here.”

  He stared at her for a moment before placing the cup on the bar. A smile spread through his lips. “Thank you,” he whispered.

  Curt knew that Avery was royally upset with him. She just didn’t understand the pressure he was under. This Battle of the Bands gig was going to decide the fate of Stranger Than Fiction. If his band couldn’t beat a bunch of no-talent local shore bands, then what chance would they have in the real world? The pressure was enormous and it distorted everything he thought and felt. Even if he’d been wrong about Anthony, Avery had to understand that he’d just needed to blow off steam.

  He found her in their room, sitting on the edge of the bed looking puffy-eyed. He felt a pang of guilt for having caused it. Not that it was the worse thing he had ever done to her—his thoughts immediately went to April—but picking the fight with Anthony was the worst thing that she knew he’d done to her. She must have really been taking it hard if she was still crying about it.

  “Hey, sweetie,” he said.

  She looked up, hastily wiping away some tears.

  “I got you something,” he said, handing her a box.

  “You didn’t have to,” she said, looking up at him with teary eyes.

  “Yes, I did.” He sat down next to her on the bed. “I’m sorry I’ve been so preoccupied with the band. And I’m sorry for what I did at the restaurant. That wasn’t cool. I’m just so wired. Everything gets distorted.”

  “It’s okay,” she said with a sniff.

  “If it was okay, why were you crying?” he asked.

  Instead of answering, she opened the box and lifted out a heart-shaped shell pendant on a black cord. He helped her put it around her neck.

  “I know this summer hasn’t been easy, Ave,” he said. “I know it hasn’t turned out the way you wanted, and I’ve asked a lot from you. But I really need you now more than ever. The Battle of the Bands is really important to me and it’s almost here. I just need you to be here for me, to support me.”

  She nodded, but once again her eyes began to fill with tears. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered, “I love you.”

  Avery began to sob.

  Avery lay awake listening to the sound of Curt’s breathing. It had grown deeper and slower and she knew that he was asleep. She rolled onto her side and stared at the picture of him on her nightstand that was illuminated by the numbers on her alarm clock. The picture was three years old. She had taken it just a month after they started dating, and two months after her mother had died.

  Things had been different then. She had been different—fragile and broken. Now she was whole again, and saw their relationship differently. It seemed to her that Curt had actually preferred her broken and needy. He obviously didn’
t like it when she attempted to be strong and independent, and it was beginning to dawn on her that he’d never really been very good to her. She’d just been too needy in the past to see it.

  But just because she no longer needed him the way she used to, was it fair to walk away? Maybe it was no longer a question of her needing him. He’d said he needed her. Things weren’t going the way he wanted for his band. STF wasn’t that good, and even great bands rarely succeeded in the real world. There was little hope for his. Sooner or later he was probably going to crash and the dream was going to die. He would need her then, maybe more than she’d ever needed him. I can’t let him go through that alone. Not after all he did for me when I was the needy one.

  Carefully and quietly, she got out of bed. She was thirsty and she needed to think about the future and what she needed to do. Like Lucas had said, the world was a lot bigger than she’d ever imagined. There was a lot more out there than her little town and that junior college that was within commuting distance. She slipped on a robe, crept out the door, and went down the stairs. A single reading light was burning in the living room, but she didn’t pay attention to it. She headed straight for the kitchen and downed two glasses of water, trying to wash the bad taste from her mouth.

  Out of the corner of her eye she saw someone come out of the downstairs bathroom and sit on the couch beside the light. So she wasn’t the only person in the house who couldn’t sleep tonight. Avery splashed some water on her face and turned to go back upstairs.

  She walked into the living room and glanced at the figure reading on the couch. She stopped short when she saw that it was Lucas and he was staring at her. For a moment, neither of them moved.

  Then, slowly, Lucas stood up and crossed to her. He took her hand and led her to the front door, then outside and down the sidewalk toward the beach. The night air was cool and damp. Neither of them spoke a word until they were standing on the beach, underneath the moonlight. There in the darkness, with only the light of the moon and the sound of the waves, they were alone, completely and utterly alone. At last.

  He reached out and slid her robe off her shoulders and she let it fall, exposing the filmy nightgown underneath. He took her in his arms and she breathed in the scent of him. Her mind was telling her one thing, but her heart and her body seemed to be in charge. When they kissed it was because she initiated it.

  Avery knew this was where she wanted to be. She wished the moment would last forever, that she would never have to leave Lucas’s arms and face the world and Curt. She knew that what she felt for Lucas was real and beautiful and more powerful than anything she had ever felt for Curt.

  Too soon, Lucas was pulling away from her. “What do you want, Avery?” he asked.

  The question caught her by surprise. “I would have thought that was obvious,” she heard herself reply.

  “I meant, what do you want tomorrow, next week, next year? We can’t just be together tonight, or even for the rest of this summer, and then pretend it never happened. Both of us deserve better than that.”

  His words hit hard. Suddenly she realized what he meant. She had to choose. Not that he was forcing her to. It was just a fact of life. She started to cry softly. He hugged her again. There was only kindness in his embrace.

  “I didn’t want this to happen,” she whispered through her tears. “I never expected to fall for you. I never thought I’d have feelings for anyone but Curt.”

  “I know,” he said, stroking her hair. “I know. But it’s happened, and I need to know what you’re going to do about it.”

  She felt like she was being pulled apart. What was any relationship worth if you turned and ran each time your partner felt low and needed you? She pulled back slightly and stared at him. “I can’t leave Curt, not now. He needs me. And I owe it to him. He was there for me when no one else was.”

  Lucas hung his head. “What about following your heart and being true to yourself?”

  “There’s more to it,” she said. “I owe him so much.”

  “Did he really do anything more than what a good friend would have done?” Lucas asked. “Sure, he was there for you, but he had a lot to gain for himself too. Beautiful, smart, kind, giving women are hard to find.”

  “But what about loyalty and faithfulness?” Avery asked as she wiped the tears away.

  “They’re really important,” Lucas confirmed. “But what about being loyal and faithful to yourself? If he’s not the one you really want, then how long are you willing to stay with him?”

  She didn’t have an answer for that. Her head was swimming with thoughts and feelings. She stared at Lucas for a moment, feeling the warm tears run down her cheeks. She didn’t know what to do or say. The only thing she knew was that right now, there were two men in her life and she wasn’t being fair to either of them. Or, more importantly, to herself.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. Then she picked up her robe and fled.

  Ten

  April was excited as she stood with Owen, Avery, and Polly in the crowd for the Battle of the Bands. More than anything she loved music and more than anything all summer, this was about music. They were in between acts. Up on the stage, guys were busy moving equipment around. Down in the crowd, people were milling about, laughing and talking.

  “Too bad Sabrina has to babysit and is missing this,” Owen said, obviously wishing she were there.

  April understood how he felt, but she also knew how important it was for Sabrina to be working and not out playing. Not only because she still had to pay her housemates back for the money she’d taken, but because she was facing the fact that life wasn’t always fun and games with Mommy and Daddy paying the bills.

  “She’d be here if she could,” April assured him.

  Owen nodded and raised a bottle—of Coke—to his lips.

  “And now, for our next band, let’s give it up for the Naked Mole Rats!” the announcer shouted to the crowd.

  April cheered along with everyone else. Naked Mole Rats was the best band she’d heard all summer. Without thinking, she turned to the person beside her and said, “These guys really rock!”

  The person beside her was Avery and she was looking really glum. “Yeah, they do.”

  April felt a pang of regret for having sounded so enthusiastic. Avery’s bummed because she knows there’s no way Curt’s band can compare. If she only knew about Curt and me, she might not be so bummed for him. For the hundredth time, April thought about telling her. She hated keeping the secret. Avery deserves better than a guy who would cheat on her.

  And I deserve better than a guy who would cheat with me on his girlfriend. And with that thought came another pang of regret. If she could take back one thing in her life, it would be kissing Curt.

  She shook her head, trying to push away the unpleasant thoughts and just enjoy the music. Naked Mole Rats had a great classic-rock-meets-grunge sound that made them different from most of the other bands. She was thrilled when they played “Honey Girl”—one of her favorites of their songs. “Rockabye Baby” was great too. The set was over too soon. The crowd roared with appreciation as they left the stage to make way for the next group.

  The announcer took to the stage. “And now for the last band of the night, Stranger Than Fiction!”

  Avery cheered louder than anyone, which wasn’t very hard since hardly anyone else was cheering. April watched as Darek, the drummer, came out and sat down at his drum set. The rest of the band came out. The crowd quieted and Curt strummed the first few chords. Avery leaned toward April. “I don’t recognize this opening,” she said.

  “Must be a new song,” April said.

  “I hope so,” Avery said.

  Then Austin began to sing. “Our bodies went down . . . the moon went up. Slipping . . . sliding . . . the mating dance has just begun. It’s the moon and not the sun. Yeah. It’s the moon and not the sun.”

  April felt her jaw drop. That’s my song!

  Curt and Bobby joined in to sing the chorus.
“The moon means romance, the moon means romance. Baby let’s dance. The moon means romance.”

  “Wow! That is way better than anything else they’ve ever done!” Owen exclaimed. April looked around and saw that the crowd was nodding and bobbing happily to the music. Unbelievable!

  April was stunned. Onstage, Curt was smiling and eating up the adulation of the crowd. He thinks everyone loves him and his band, April thought. It’s the song they love, and it’s mine. He stole my song. How could he do that? How could I not see that all he wanted was my music?

  “In the light of day, you can’t be mine. Baby, that’s just not our sign. He owns your hand, but I have your heart. We love in the moonlight, and then we part,” Austin continued singing the next verse.

  “Where did they get such a great song?” Avery asked.

  April knew she wasn’t going to like the answer, but it was time she knew the truth, “You really want to know?”

  Avery frowned as if she didn’t understand.

  “He got that song from me. Your boyfriend stole it,” April said.

  Avery stared at her with wide eyes. “Stole it?”

  “The moon means romance, the moon means romance. Baby let’s dance. The moon means romance,” the band sang.

  April nodded. “Right out of my notebook. I played it for him one day. He kept coming to my room. I thought he liked me, but I guess it was all so that he could steal my songs.”

  The color drained from Avery’s face and for a moment April thought she was going to faint. “Did . . . did anything happen?”

  “Not really,” April said. “But he tried.”

  Avery turned and stared at the band. April wondered what was going through her mind. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good.

  The song ended, and STF played a second song. By now, April knew better than to be surprised that this was also one of her songs. It was unbelievable, just unbelievable that Curt would take the songs and not tell her.