Blood on My Hands Read online

  “Everyone’s gone. Why didn’t you come get me?”

  Instead of answering, he takes a drag of his cigarette and exhales a plume into the air. “Know what I was just thinking about?”

  “How could I?”

  “How unfair it was that your birthday came right in the middle of those two months when I wasn’t allowed to speak or write to you.” He looks up with a crooked smile on his face. “Happy birthday, Shrimp.”

  “Thanks.” I offer him my hands, to help him up. “Now come on. We’ve got things to do.”

  He studies my hands, then shakes his head as if he can’t believe that someone as little as me really thinks she can help him up. But he takes hold just the same.

  Limping slightly, he leads me across the dark, empty parking lot, around the orange cones blocking the newly painted white lines of parking spaces, through the back door of the new town center. In the hallway, under a bare yellowish lightbulb, he stops and looks back at me. His eyes are sad.

  “What?” I ask.

  Instead of answering, he gives me half a smile and shakes his head again, then takes my hand and leads me up the concrete steps to the second floor.

  He pushes through a door and we enter a large shadowy room illuminated by some streetlights outside. The smell of drying paint is in the air. As my eyes adjust to the dark, I can see that this is the new lounge. Or at least, it will be the new lounge once it’s finished. Right now, the floor is still bare concrete. New rolls of carpet rest against a wall. In one corner couches covered with plastic sheets are positioned around a large flat-screen TV. In another corner is the ancient pool table from the old EMS building. Along the wall are cabinets and a sink, a stove, and a refrigerator, all with their new-appliance labels and warnings still attached.

  I open one of the cabinet doors under the sink. The space will work. I turn and put my arms around Slade. “I wish we could just stay like this forever,” I whisper, craning my neck up and feeling his lips against mine, his scratchy stubble against my face. “Stay with me?”

  He hesitates, then says, “Wish I could, but I’ve got to get home and clean up for the ceremony.” He gives me one last hug, then leans back and looks into the empty cabinet. “You sure this is what you want to do?”

  “No, but I don’t know what else to do.”

  Lunch was almost over and Mia and I took our trays to the kitchen. Turning back, we found Kirsten coming toward us, no doubt with a message from Katherine.

  “Can I talk to you?” she said to Mia.

  Mia’s eyes darted toward the table where Katherine was sitting, then back to Kirsten. “Okay.”

  I watched the two girls walk off together and stand by the window. Kirsten crossed her arms and spoke. Mia’s mouth fell open. Then, for a moment, it looked as if she would burst into tears. But her lips closed, her jaw became firm, her eyes narrowed, and she began to march toward Katherine’s table.

  At the table, Katherine had been leaning forward in conversation, but I knew she must have had one eye on what was happening between Kirsten and Mia. Now, with Mia storming toward her, Katherine sat up straight, and for the first time that I could remember, her face went pale.

  Not certain exactly what Mia intended to do, I began to hurry toward the table. Mia, her red face filled with fury, stopped and hovered over Katherine, who was doing her best to stare straight back. Maybe it was only my imagination, but I would have sworn that inside, Katherine was quaking with fear.

  “How dare you!” Mia shouted. At the shrill sound of her voice, the closer half of the cafeteria went silent. Heads turned and kids rose from their seats to see what was going on as Mia went off on a tirade. “It wasn’t enough that you had to shut me out of your table, but you had to send one of your little robots over to make sure I knew the reason. Well, let me tell you something, Miss Prim-Proper Phony, you are going to get yours. Believe me. When I’m done with you, you’ll wish you’d … you’d never been adopted!”

  Katherine went white. Mia turned and marched out of the cafeteria. Behind her some kids began to cheer and whistle. It was impossible to tell whether they were expressing their personal feelings about Katherine or just voicing their approval of the entertaining nature of Mia’s outburst.

  I followed Mia into the hall and down to the girls’ room. By the time I got there, she’d locked herself in a stall and I could hear her gasping for breath and sobbing. “You okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I’m just … I think I kind of freaked myself out.…”

  “You were fabulous!” I said, hoping to make her feel better. “I mean, no one’s ever done that to her before … and in front of everyone!”

  “Yeah … I just … I don’t know … lost it. She is such an evil piece of slime.”

  “Well, she deserved it,” I said. “So … I think I know what Kirsten said.”

  In the stall, Mia blew her nose. “How?”

  “Because Katherine wanted me to tell you and I refused.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it isn’t true. And because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, and because I knew it would never end. Even if I did what she wanted, she’d just come up with something worse next time.”

  “God, I hate her,” Mia muttered on the other side of the stall door. “I just so hate her.”

  “I’m not sure she’s worth hating,” I said.

  I heard a rustling sound; then the stall door opened and Mia came out. Her eyes were red and her face was splotchy. She went to the mirror and started to fix her makeup. “You’re sure I’m not a fat pig?”

  I winced at the thought of Kirsten delivering that news back in the cafeteria. What a horrible thing to do.

  “Not even close.”

  Mia looked at me in the mirror. “You mean it?”

  “Yes. But what was that thing about Katherine being adopted?”

  Mia stared down at a sink. “It was really a low blow. But I just couldn’t come up with anything else that I knew would hurt.”

  “It’s true?”

  She nodded. “She told me once. I mean, a thousand years ago when we were, like, in third grade. Before she became Katherine the Terrible.”

  “But there are lots of adopted kids. Why would it hurt her?”

  “I don’t know,” Mia said with a shrug. “That’s just the way she is. Whatever problem she has with it is in her head. Not anyone else’s.”

  The bell rang; it was time to go to class. “Well, I just want you to know you put on a world-class performance today,” I said, and gave her a hug before heading for the door.

  “Would you do something with me?” Mia suddenly asked. I stopped and looked at her.

  “I want to write something for the school paper,” she said. “Would you write it with me?”

  “What’s it about?” I asked.

  “I’ll call you tonight.”

  Chapter 36

  Wednesday 7:23 A.M.

  IN THE DARK lounge, I rest on one of the plastic-covered couches, knowing I won’t be able to fall asleep again. My thoughts are scattered. Will I ever get to sleep in my own bed again? What chance do I really have of convincing Congresswoman Jenkins that her own daughter killed Katherine? If Dakota did it, why did she pick me to blame? Was it just random? Was I simply the first one she came across at the kegger after she killed Katherine? Or was it planned? She had to know about the peer mediation. Did she think she had to act before Katherine and I had a chance to resolve our issues?

  But what if I’m totally wrong and she had nothing to do with it? What if it was Mia and Griffen? Or someone else entirely? Slade said they’d even treated him like a possible suspect.

  What if they really have no idea?

  What if they just hope I’m the one?

  Outside, the sky is brightening. I hear car doors banging and voices. The workers are here early to set up for the celebration. I slide off the couch, scamper to the cabinet under the sink, and crawl inside.

  Lying in the dark, with the cabinet door clo
sed and the scents of new wood and plastic plumbing in my nose, I now have to wait. Hours pass. Finally, somewhere in the room, a door squeaks open and closes quietly. I remain still under the sink, feeling an almost feverish anxiety. Is it Slade? Or someone else? The cabinet door opens. Slade is squatting there, light flooding in around him. I squint. He’s clean-shaven and wearing a navy blue crewneck. Only his bloodshot eyes give away his lack of sleep. His expression is grim. I wish he would look happy to see me.

  “You okay?” he asks.

  “Yes. You?”

  “Tired.” He glances around inside the cabinet. “You know this is never going to work, right?”

  “Got a better idea?” I ask.

  He shrugs. “Time to get ready. They’re coming.”

  The cabinet door closes and I’m back in the dark. But now, I see the flaws in my plan that I couldn’t see last night. The urge to crawl out and run surges through me. But it’s too late. The building is filling with workers. If I try to sneak out now, I’m bound to be seen.

  Seconds pass. Now instead of feeling eager to continue, I’m dreading it. I’m trapped at ground zero, right above the police department. What was I thinking by coming here?

  A door opens. I hear people enter the lounge.

  A man’s voice: “As you can see, this will be the new lounge. By having the emergency services and fire department share one space, we’ll realize a pretty significant energy savings.”

  A woman’s voice: “Good idea.”

  The man’s voice: “Well, that’s about it for the tour.”

  The woman: “Thank you. It’s been wonderful. You’ve done a very good job.”

  A door opens and closes.

  The woman: “How much time?”

  A different man’s voice: “About five minutes. Looks like there’s about a hundred people out there.”

  “Channel Twelve?” the woman asks.

  “No, but Simmons from the Journal with a photographer. And that new girl from the Shoreline Express.”

  The woman replies, “All right, I’m just going to freshen up and review some notes. I’ll be right down.”

  A door opens and closes. The lounge becomes quiet. Is it possible that Congresswoman Jenkins is here alone? That this little part of my plan has actually worked? My heart is thudding, and despite the coolness around me, my skin feels warm and moist. I’m scared about what’s going to happen next. I press my fingers against the inside of the cabinet door and a crack of light peeks in. I can’t see Dakota’s mom. I’m starting to push the door farther when I hear what sounds like her speaking on a phone: “Yes, half an hour at the most. Right. What did Salinger say about the spending cuts? Good, good. Well, we’ll just have to see if they get enough votes. What? I know, it’s hard to believe that they haven’t found her yet. The whole police force looking for one kid and they can’t figure out where she is. What can I say? He’s my brother. I know it looks bad. Well, hopefully they’ll find her soon and put an end to it. Uh-huh. Yes. I’ll speak to you later.”

  The phone snaps shut. The lounge is quiet. It’s now or never. Blood pounding in my ears, I push open the cabinet door and crawl out. Congresswoman Jenkins is standing near the window with an open compact, taking advantage of the sunlight to touch up her makeup.

  “Excuse me?”

  Startled, she jerks her head up from the compact, then frowns when she sees me. Her eyes dart to the door, as if she doesn’t understand how I got in here without her noticing. “Yes?”

  She has no idea who I am. To her I’m just some little kid dressed in pink and white who’s magically appeared out of nowhere.

  “I have to talk to you about Katherine Remington-Day,” I begin.

  Her eyes widen with surprise, then narrow as if to focus more clearly. “You’re … the Carson girl?”

  I nod and her eyes again go to the door. Is she considering whether to dash through it? Call for help?

  “Please,” I beg her. “The night Katherine was killed, Dakota knew about it before anyone else. She told me where to look for the body. If you go home today and check your knives, you’re going to find that you’re missing the one that matches the description of the murder weapon.”

  Congresswoman Jenkins stares at me. It must be a lot to take in all at once. “You’re saying … that my daughter Dakota killed Katherine? With a knife from my kitchen?”

  With a slow nod I reply, “I don’t expect you to believe me. No mother would. But I have to ask you to consider what I’m saying. I bet you had no idea that she sent death threats about Katherine.”

  Dakota’s mother’s eyebrows sink into a V. I expect the next thing she says to be that she doesn’t believe me. Instead, she asks, “How do you know about that?”

  This catches me completely off guard. She knows about the death threats? “Griffen Clemment told me. He’s the one Dakota—”

  “I know who he is.” She cuts me short, then stares at me again, as if trying to decide what to do next. “What do you want from me?” she finally asks.

  “I want you to consider the possibility that what I’m saying might be true. That the police are looking for the wrong suspect. That this whole thing is a huge mistake.”

  “Why can’t you tell them yourself?”

  “They’ll never believe me. All the evidence makes it look like I did it.”

  “Yes, everyone’s aware of that.” Her voice hardens. She’s moved past astonishment. Her protective instincts have kicked into gear. “Did Slade Lamont tell you to do this?”

  All I can do is shake my head. I can’t think of anything to say. How can she know about Slade? How much more is there that I don’t know?

  She purses her lips and nods slowly, as if my silence is affirmation. “Whatever you have to say, you can say to the police … yourself.” Her voice becomes stern and cold. She walks across the room, opens the door, and leaves.

  I run to the closest window and yank it open, then hurry to the old pool table. After Slade said good-bye this morning, he left the end ajar. Now I wiggle in feetfirst and swing the end closed, sealing myself inside like a trapdoor spider.

  It’s dark except for the light that comes down through the pockets. Lying flat and straight, I barely have room to fit under the gullies.

  I still can’t understand how Dakota’s mom could know about Slade.

  But there’s nothing I can do now except wait.

  DOES MONEY MAKE YOU POPULAR?

  by Callie Carson

  For as long as there’s been high school, students have wondered what makes kids popular. Some people say the standard for popularity changes from generation to generation. Is having money the standard for our generation?

  It’s the age-old question: what does one have to do to be popular? After grades, it could be the biggest concern some students have. And in some cases, it may be even more important than grades. There was a time when it was easy to know who was popular and who wasn’t. If you were a jock or a cheerleader, you were popular. Then it changed. Sometimes it seemed like the coolest and most popular kids were the ones with their own bands. Or the artists. Or the kids in student government. Or even the brainiac geeks, with their super-high GPAs and science awards.

  But lately a new group seems to dominate. They may have talent, or none at all. They might be pretty, or get good grades, or not. What’s the one thing they do have? Money. Enough to spend whatever they want on clothes and entertainment and other kinds of fun, and never even have to think about it.

  The strange thing is, with one or two exceptions, these kids didn’t earn a penny of it themselves. For the most part they’ve never had to work a day in their lives. It’s not like in the old days, when kids had to be good at something to be popular. Back then, athletes and cheerleaders had to train. Musicians had to rehearse. Student government kids had to campaign and run for election. Geeks had to study.

  These days, it seems, all you have to do is be born rich.

  Chapter 37

  Wednesday 11:02 A.M
.

  SILENCE. I LIE in my new hiding place in the pool table, feeling worried and scared and baffled. Then comes a rumble of commotion and voices in the hall. A door bangs open and I hear heavy footsteps and breathing as several people rush into the room.

  “Check everywhere,” a man orders. “The closets, cabinets, everything.”

  I hear shuffling, banging, and the scraping of furniture being moved. “She’s not here, sir.”

  “The window,” someone says.

  “Damn it!” another man grunts, as if angry with himself that he didn’t notice it sooner.

  “You think she went down the fire escape?”

  “Down, or up. One of you go each way.”

  More grunts. I imagine two police officers climbing out the window to the fire escape. A walkie-talkie crackles on. A man in the room asks, “Any sign of her?”

  “Negative,” comes the reply over the walkie-talkie.

  “McGregor and Petersen, you in the front?” asks the man.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I want one of you on either side of that crowd. Watch for her.”

  “Ten-four, sir.”

  I listen as he gives more orders and suddenly realize something I didn’t think of before. Because of the ceremony, the whole police department is probably here. For the moment no one’s out on patrol, no one’s taking the day off. I couldn’t be more surrounded.

  “Wilson,” the man in the room says, “anything on the roof?”

  “Negative, sir.”

  “Palluci?”

  “Yes, sir?”

  “Go out in the front with McGregor and Petersen. Keep your eyes on that crowd. When people start to leave after the congresswoman’s speech, look for anything she could hide in. You see a baby stroller, check it.”

  “Ten-four.”

  Another voice in the lounge says, “Heating ducts?”