Wish You Were Dead Read online

  He was baiting me again. Only this time, it was easy not to rise to the bait. “Not necessarily. Sometimes the norm can be pretty boring. But right now, anything safe sounds really good.”

  Tyler nodded. “True that.”

  It felt like the conversation was flowing more easily, and I was tempted to steer it toward the things I was curious about—Where was he from? Why had he moved here a month after school began? But before I could ask, a commotion began on the other side of the cafeteria. Voices rose in alarm. Heads began to turn and people stood to get a better look. A small crowd had bunched up, and a lunch monitor was telling people to move back. The cafeteria doors opened and Principal Edwards hurried in, followed a few moments later by the school nurse. More kids went to see what was going on, and now Principal Edwards’s voice joined the lunch monitor’s in telling everyone to move away. Some kids started back to their tables.

  “What was it?” Tyler asked one of them.

  “Looks like Maura fainted,” the kid said.

  Gradually, except for the grown-ups and some kids around Maura, the cafeteria began to return to normal. Things briefly got exciting again when two paramedics arrived with a stretcher. But then the bell rang and Principal Edwards told everyone to go to class.

  chapter 15

  Thursday 9:00 A.M.

  MAURA WASN’T IN school the next day. By Thursday morning, it seemed almost everybody had forgotten about the incident in the cafeteria and was once again focused on Lucy and Adam. But when I got to homeroom early and found Ms. Skelling marking papers, I decided to ask. “Have you heard anything about Maura?”

  Ms. Skelling looked up at me with a slightly astonished expression on her face. “Do you know that you’re the only one who’s asked?”

  The comment made me feel self-conscious. “I was just wondering. That’s all.”

  She hooked her thick red hair behind her ear. “You needn’t apologize. There’s nothing wrong with caring about someone who’s not in your crowd. She’s much better, thank you. I expect she’ll be back at school tomorrow.”

  “Okay, thanks.” I started to turn away.

  “Madison?”

  I stopped. “Yes?”

  “You’re one of the few young people in this school with any manners.”

  “Well … it must be from my parents, you know?” I backed out of the room. “But thanks.”

  “You’re welcome,” she said, and looked back down at her papers.

  During a free period in the afternoon, I went to the library to research a paper on Shakespeare’s tragedies. Dave was sitting on a couch, reading a National Geographic. He glanced up briefly, his eyes large behind his glasses.

  “PBleeker?” I said.

  His face went blank, then slowly formed a scowl. “Sorry?”

  “That doesn’t mean anything to you?”

  “Should it?”

  “Paulie Bleeker? From Juno?”

  Dave’s lips parted into a smile. “Right. Sorry, I didn’t get it. So …?”

  Either he wasn’t PBleeker or he was a very good actor.

  “I’m glad you brought the movie to Safe Rides the other night,” I said. “I’d forgotten how good it was.”

  “The best,” he agreed. “I mean, like, everybody knows it’s hard to be a teenager, right? And you think you’re the only one who feels that way even though you know that can’t be true. And then there’s that line where Juno says—”

  “ ‘I think you are the coolest person I’ve ever met. And you don’t even have to try,’ ” I quoted. “And Paulie says, ‘I try really hard, actually.’ ”

  Dave grinned. “You remembered!”

  “You told me a few nights ago,” I reminded him.

  “But I didn’t think you were listening.” He shrugged sheepishly.

  “I was. It’s a great line. Do you really think it’s true?”

  “No—I mean, yes. It’s just that some of us, the harder we try, the less cool we are. The problem is, if we don’t try, we’re not cool, either. In fact, no matter what we do, we’re not cool.”

  I felt a smile grow on my face. “That’s funny.”

  Dave beamed. “Yeah, you know, I thought it would be funny? And I wanted it to be funny? But I was also being serious. Does that make sense?”

  “I guess so.”

  He grew quiet, and I wondered if he was practicing every sentence in his head before he said it. Then he said, “Okay, Madison, the truth is, being a dweeb really sucks. And now you’re going to say, ‘But Dave, you’re not a dweeb.’ ”

  I laughed again. “And then what do you say?”

  “I insist I’m a dweeb and then we get into a big argument over whether I’m a dweeb or not.”

  “Who wins?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it ends with a standoff. Or a dweeboff. Only I don’t know what a dweeboff is and I only said it because I thought it might sound funny, and if it sounded funny, maybe you’d think I was cool, only we’ve already established that I can’t be cool.” He took off his glasses and cleaned them with the tail of his shirt.

  “Did anyone ever tell you that you look a little bit like Michael J. Fox—the actor from Back to the Future, remember?”

  The unexpected burst of laughter from Dave’s lips was loud enough that people around the library looked up from what they were doing. Dave ducked down behind the National Geographic. “Wow, Madison,” he whispered, “your credibility just went straight down the toilet.”

  “I don’t think so. I bet if I’ve noticed, other people have, too.”

  “Oh, yeah,” he said. “At least a dozen people a day. And that’s not counting all the people who tell me I look like Zac Efron and Kevin Jonas. I’m telling you, Madison, with all the attention I get, sometimes it’s hard just being me.”

  “Are you always this funny?” I asked.

  “Well, actually, no.”

  We both chuckled, then grew quiet. I waited to see if he had anything more to say, but he didn’t. “Well, guess I better get to work.” I got up, then turned to look at him.

  Dave was squinting up at me. Only now he didn’t look quite as much like Michael J. Fox. “Thanks, Madison,” he said.

  After school, Laurie drove them home. As they turned the corner, Sharon saw the dark green sedan parked in her driveway. “Pull over!”

  Laurie pulled her car to the curb and gave Sharon a quizzical look. Panic swept over Sharon. She felt as if her temperature had just risen five degrees. She bit her lip until it hurt. “Tell me that isn’t an unmarked police car.”

  Lest there be any doubt, the Costellos’ front door opened and a thin man with a blond moustache walked down the path to the car and got in.

  “Oh, God,” Sharon groaned. Her insides turned upside down. She was certain she’d been busted. That little creep Maura had narced on her. She was totally screwed.

  The dark green sedan backed out of the driveway and started in their direction.

  “Duck!” Sharon gasped, and hunched down beneath the dashboard. She looked up at Laurie, who hadn’t budged. “Come on!” Laurie didn’t move. “What are you doing? He’ll see us!”

  “He’s gone,” Laurie said calmly.

  Sharon poked her head up over the dashboard just enough to see. The street was empty. She slid back up to the passenger seat. “What’s wrong with you?”

  Laurie gave her a droll look. “Would you chill, please?”

  “You don’t think that was a detective?” Sharon asked. “You don’t think they asked Maura in the hospital where she got the ketamine? You don’t think my parents are going to kill me the second I walk into my house?”

  “You don’t know,” Laurie replied.

  Sharon flipped open her cell phone and called Maura’s house. She wouldn’t be able to say anything over the phone because Maura had warned her that her mother listened in on her conversations, and Maura had to be the only teenager in the world without a cell phone. A woman answered.

  Sharon made an effort to sound fr
iendly. “Hi, is Maura there? This is her friend Sharon from school.”

  A moment later Maura got on. “Hello?”

  “Hi, I have that book Mr. Osmond asked us to read,” Sharon said. “I’m not far from your house and this would be a good time for me to drop it off.”

  The line went quiet and Sharon held her breath. If Maura had anything more than the brains of a toadstool she’d understand that Sharon wanted to see her.

  “Okay,” Maura whispered.

  Sharon made Laurie drive her to Maura’s place. Maura came out wearing a stained white sweatshirt with a tear in the collar. What a loser, Sharon thought as she opened the car window. In a low voice she said, “You told the police where you got the Special K?”

  Maura looked surprised. “No, I didn’t.”

  “They didn’t ask you at the hospital?”

  “They did, but I said I’d had it for a long time and couldn’t remember where I got it.”

  That was a smart answer, but it sounded too smart for Maura.

  “You’re lying,” Sharon said.

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Then why was there a detective at my house just now?”

  Maura frowned. “How would I know?”

  Sharon stared at her uncertainly. “If I find out you’re lying, I will kick the crap out of you.” She turned to Laurie. “Let’s go.”

  Laurie started to drive. “Think she was telling the truth?” Sharon asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Then why was that detective at my house?”

  “Why don’t you go find out?”

  On the way home, Sharon’s insides began twisting again. She was surprised at how terrified she was of getting in trouble with the police and amazed to discover that she was equally afraid of what her parents would do. Suddenly her big plan of going to San Francisco felt like nothing more than a crazy fantasy. How could she have believed that she’d go all that way alone? Where would she live? What would she do? How would she support herself?

  They pulled into her driveway. Sharon began to tremble from fright. She turned to Laurie. “Would you come in with me?”

  Laurie nodded.

  “Promise me you won’t leave unless everything’s okay?” Sharon asked.

  Laurie put her hand on Sharon’s. “I promise.”

  chapter 16

  Friday 8:43 A.M.

  THEY PUT NEW tires on the Audi. In the morning when I got in, I noticed something on the passenger-side floor and felt my breath catch. It was another folded plain white napkin. With shaky hands I unfolded it:

  PEOPLE ARE STILL IN DANGER. WE NEED TO MEET AND TALK. YOU HAVE TO LET ME KNOW THAT I CAN TRUST YOU.

  The Audi had been locked and the windows closed. It would have been impossible to slide the note in. Since no one had touched the car since it had come back from the garage, that meant someone had put the note in it between the time the tires were slashed and the car was returned to our house.

  I glanced at the dashboard clock. If I wanted to get a coffee before I picked up Courtney, I’d have to get going. It wasn’t long before I was parked in Courtney’s driveway, sipping my café macchiato and waiting for her to come out. But my thoughts were mostly on the note. How could I let the writer know I was trustworthy if I didn’t know who he or she was? But something else bothered me. Everyone wants to think that they’re trustworthy, so naturally, if someone asks you to prove it, you want to. But what if this was a trap? Maybe I didn’t want to be trustworthy for this person. I found myself wondering what Tyler would say. Tyler saw things differently. I wished he was there in the car with me. I wanted to know what he’d think.

  I glanced at the clock and realized five minutes had passed. Where was Courtney? Her house looked dark and quiet, but it always looked that way. I called her on my cell phone but only got her message.

  Had she overslept? Of all the wild and irresponsible things Courtney was apt to do, this wasn’t one of them. Not that she was compulsive about being on time; she just didn’t seem to need much sleep.

  So now what? I called again. And again got her message. It was possible that she’d let the battery in her phone run down. I tried the home phone and got another message. The next step would be to knock on the door, but at the thought of it, I felt my stomach get tight and my heart begin to thump.

  What if something’s wrong?

  Don’t be silly. Nothing bad can happen if you just go to the front door and knock.

  But I couldn’t help picturing the front door opening and someone else being there, waiting to grab me. I reached into my book bag, took out the Safe Rides folder, and dialed Tyler’s number.

  “Yeah?” he answered after the first ring.

  “Hi, it’s Madison. Sorry to bother you. Are you already at school or still on the way?

  “Actually, I’m kind of running slow this morning. Why?”

  I told him where I was and asked if he’d stop by on his way to school. Another ten minutes passed before his car pulled into the driveway behind me. I got out of the Audi. “Thanks for coming.”

  “No prob.” He looked up the driveway at the vast ranch house and the large lawn that surrounded it. “What makes you think she’s there?”

  “I pick her up every morning,” I said. “If she wasn’t there, she would have called and told me.”

  Tyler took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay, let’s go see.”

  We walked up the driveway, past Courtney’s VW Bug under the light green tarp, to the front door. Tyler rang the doorbell and waited. There was no answer. He rang it again.

  “What about her parents?” he asked.

  “Her mom’s in India taking care of a sick grandmother and her father’s a traveling salesman. He’s usually only home on weekends.”

  “There’s no one else?”

  “A sister in law school. She’s supposed to come home at night, but she usually stays with her boyfriend.”

  Tyler knocked loudly on the door. If anyone was inside, they would have heard. A queasy, uncomfortable sensation began to spread through my stomach.

  “Know where her bedroom is?” Tyler asked.

  “Yes, but—”

  He jerked his head. “Come on.”

  We walked around to the back of the house. Tyler gazed out at the tennis court and pool in the large backyard. Since it was a ranch, all the rooms were on the ground floor, but the bedroom windows were above eye level.

  “I think it’s this one.” I stopped under a window with green curtains.

  Tyler reached up and knocked on the glass. The queasy feeling continued to grow in my stomach. When Courtney didn’t come to the window, Tyler reached up to the ledge and pulled himself up, trying to peek through a crack in the curtains.

  “I don’t think she’s there,” he said, lowering himself.

  Oh, God, now what? I thought, my insides convulsing.

  As we walked back around the house to the driveway, I began to feel like I might throw up—something I hadn’t done in years. “I just hope she’s at school,” I said, but at the same time I knew the chances were slim. How would she have gotten there?

  Tyler didn’t answer. I wished he’d say something reassuring, but he didn’t. We got in our cars and he followed me to school, my stomach cramping the whole way. “She has homeroom in the physics lab,” I told him when we met again in the student lot. I started toward the entrance, not realizing how fast I was walking until I noticed that Tyler was practically jogging beside me.

  We got to the physics lab and I pushed open the door without knocking. Sitting at his desk, Mr. Stanton, the physics teacher, frowned.

  “Is Courtney here?” I asked.

  “I’ve marked her absent,” Mr. Stanton said. “Shouldn’t you be in your—?”

  I turned away and started quickly down the hall. Tyler fell into step beside me. I felt like I was on autopilot, moving fast and trying not to think but thinking just the same. This can’t be happening. It just can’t be. Not again. Not to Court
ney!

  In no time Principal Edwards had one secretary trying to track down Courtney’s father and sister and another secretary on the phone to the police. Tyler and I sat in the main office. My heart was trying to force itself into my throat and I felt so sick I wasn’t sure I could move. This can’t be happening, I kept thinking. It just can’t!

  Principal Edwards paced between the two secretaries, then looked at me. “Who else could possibly know where she might be?”

  “Maybe Jen Waits,” I said.

  The principal turned to a secretary. “Get Jen Waits down here, pronto.” He turned back to Tyler and me. “You two go to class.”

  I heard what he said, but it didn’t process. Go to class? At a time like this? Why? What for?

  Tyler touched my arm. “Come on, we better go.”

  I went with him out into the hall. Everything was spinning and I felt light-headed. With each thump of my heart, the word no thundered in my head. No! No! No! Not Courtney!

  “There have to be explanations we’re not thinking of,” I heard myself say in the hallway. “She could turn up in an hour and everything will be fine.”

  I wanted Tyler to agree, but he said nothing. It was almost as if he knew something I didn’t know. Was that possible? Or was I slowly going insane imagining crazy things?

  Down the hall, a classroom door opened and Jen came out. “Oh, uh, hey, guys.” Her smile and greeting were both subdued.

  “Do you have any idea where Courtney is?” I asked.

  Jen turned pale. “No. Why?”

  I explained that she wasn’t home or at school. “That’s why Principal Edwards wants to see you. Did you talk to her last night?”

  Jen’s eyes darted left and right, and I could tell she knew something. She nodded slowly. The little color left drained out of her face. “Oh my God,” she half-gasped, half-whispered.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Some of us got together at Greg’s house last night. We just, you know, felt like hanging out. We didn’t stay late. Like not past ten. When it was time to go, Courtney said she’d walk. A couple of us said we’d drive her, but she said it was dumb because she lived on the next block.”